God is Good

by BaHR
30 March 2015 0301

Sometimes I sit alone
And I wonder why
My God let my Baby die….
But I know…
God is good….

I wipe away a tear
And I want to swear
And I wonder if God
Would even care….
And then I know…
God is good….

God is good
But I still cry
And lay awake at night
And wonder, “Why?”
But I don’t doubt…
God is good….

I know God’s good
And I still want to scream.
I wish I could wake up
From this hellish dream….
Still I know…
God is good….

God is good
And in my pain
I hold my head
And I call out his name….
And I feel…
God is good….

God is good
Even when I can’t see
Or hear or feel him
Here with me
Still I know…
God is good….

Yes, I know God is here with me,
And he feels my pain…
And gives me hope… someday…
I may feel whole again…
But until then…
God is still good….

Creative Muses… and a Failed Composition….

Today was pretty much a failure. At least in some ways.

I worked on a lyric….

Started out with kinda Country vibe. But I guess… in the end… feels like more of a Country… Hip-Hop… Cross-over….

The lyrics evolved. Not what I originally was thinking AT ALL….

Originally I was thinking about the difference between the pain of heartbreak and the agony of loneliness. Which do you choose? The pain of heartbreak is much more acute…. More intense…. But… diminishes with time… and separation…. And the agony of loneliness… slowly seems to build…. But… I guess those ideas were just a little too subtle for me to explore today….

Guess there’s always tomorrow….
And the next day….
And the day after….

Sometimes… Love is Like That….

by BaHR
29 March 1134-1517-1627
(As yet unfinished… of course!)

Remember way back when…
there was just one Wedding Cake…?
When the vows that we swore
Somehow seemed something more
Than just some promise one of us
Seemed to know all along she would ignore
(-cough!-) and… break…?
I guess that’s what I miss…
most…
Being lost in that dream…. Better off….
Not knowing about your clever schemes….
Better off not knowing
that love’s almost never forever….
Now that our love is severed…
Seems I’m somehow lost in that past forever….
Forever….

Forgiving….
Forgetting….
Reliving….
Regretting….
Sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….

Honey, I think I know that thing that you feel…
And truth be told… I felt the same thing, too….
The real deal…?
Sometimes….
Down deep in my soul….
Sometimes… it hurts…
To think that I’ve been such a fool….
I feel like such a fool….
To KNOW I’m fool…
To feel… this… pain… still….
I know it ain’t cool….
I AM such a fool…
And I’m so confused….
My thoughts are so complex….
Life should be simple…
And… I should be simply…

Forgiving….
Forgetting….
Reliving….
Regretting….
Sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….

It’s not that I really mind your leaving…
It’s just that I find that my soul is still grieving…
The loss of love that I thought
Must be God-sent… because it felt so… divine!
Now… I’m crying….
Because your love wasn’t all that I lost that day…
And now I guess that must be my cross, as they say….
Seems I can never go on and just get on with my life…
If I can’t somehow start…

Forgiving….
Forgetting….
Reliving….
Regretting….
Sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….

Because I just can’t seem to get you off of my mind.
I’m crying inside… and I feel like I’m dying…
And these bitter tears are taking their sweet time…
Washing your stain… out of my heart and mind…
Cause I’m holding on to your memory… holding on to the pain…
Hoping you won’t forget me… wishing I was to blame…
When I really should be…

Forgiving….
Forgetting….
Reliving….
Regretting….
Sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….

I’m not an idiot… though I may a fool.
And despite all my schooling, I feel I’ve been used like a tool….
I know your friends and your lovers keep telling you:
“Just make up your mind…
and just move on….
Don’t waste your time
because it just feels wrong…
Every night that you waste in bed with him
Is just one less night
You could be out searching for Mr. Just-Feels-Right
Instead of sleeping next to some fool who holds on too tight!”
So when you’re lying in your king-sized bed… alone….
I hope I’m stuck in your head and you’re singing this song…

Forgiving….
Forgetting….
Reliving….
Regretting….
Sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….

I remember the vows that we both swore that day
But when you swear at me now… I still feel the same way….
Now I’m regretting words I may have said….
Regretting forgetting to say “I love you” instead….
Reliving those time when you broke my heart… screaming your hate.
Your refusing to forgive me when you felt that way….
Now I’m foolishly thinking maybe I should have begged you to stay…
Instead of telling you goodbye when you walked out that door…
And left me feeling a fool when you did….
The way you did….
But… Baby… you did….
And… you left me… foolishly…

Forgiving….
Forgetting….
Reliving….
Regretting….
Sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….

Baby… I would sure love to wish you well…
But… truthfully…? I hope your life’s a living Hell…
And while I know and accept that it’s your right…
To ME… it still feels wrong… that you broke my heart….
To me… it still stings….
It still cuts like a knife….
Right through me….
And I still feel I lost a big part of my life….
And this house will never feel like a home….
Because you left me….
Alone….
And… you left me singing this song….

Forgiving….
Forgetting….
Reliving….
Regretting….
Sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….
Yeah… sometimes….
Love is….
Like that….

Yep! Sometimes that’s what love’s like…
At least so I’ve been told….
Sometimes love seems to be spite…
And some folks seem to think love is all about control….
“If you really loved me right…
Then you’d give me your soul….”
Seems every rose has its thorn
And every horny thorn its rose
That seems to shameless prick you
When you’re in its most passionate throes….
But… if that sounds at all foolish
I’m just feeling like a fool in love….

SPEAK… Alien! By ∠B(sin0)y=∇ X∍∑ √-1235UΠT4∀$ς! (pronounced Voydth Zyes Yupitasz)

#
(tick…)
(…)
(tick-tick…)
(tick-tick-TICK!!!…)
(…)
(tick…)
(…)
(…)
(TICK!…)
#
The Geiger counter clicked… (tick-tick-tick…)
(tick…) intermittently… (tick…)
(…) indifferently….
That’s what Geiger counters do… (tick…)
(TICK!…) Geiger counters… CLICK!!! (TICK!!!…)
#
The Astronaut… (tick…)
(…) the Officer of the Watch…
(TICK!!!…) checked his monitors.
Nothing was amiss. (tick-TICK!!!…)
(…) No klaxons clacked. (tick…)
No sirens wailed.
Calling sailors to their graves.
Silently they swam into those kelpie caves.
Still… in the vane vacuum of dead space… dead men tell no tales. Ships vanish without a trace.
(tick…) He perused his Control Panel…. (tick…)
(…) No red lights flashed….
No cause for alarm. No alarms at all.
No warning what-so-ever…. (TICK!!!…)
#
The Rating checked the ships chronometer… (tick-tick)
before sounding “All’s Well!” (tick)
(…) Ding-ding… ding-ding… (tick)
(tick) ding-ding… ding-ding….
“The end of the Middle Watch!” (TICK!!!)
chimed the Eight Bells.
#
And then… all HELL broke loose….
(Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-TICK!!!)
Like Satan escaping his fetters….
The ripping steel….
The hiss….
The feel of utter… stark… freedom….

Like monks before Matins rising to pray,
Cosmic sailors rise to their work days at odd hours.
Time…
And Space…
Are relative…
In a relativistic Universe….
Gravity is defined
by how fast man falls…
never mind what forces are in play.

Sunrise is relative in the dark vacuum of Space.
On Planets. And on Moons. Other satellites. And ships….

Besides…
today should certainly be different…
some thought through blank stares…
enjoying the solemn quietude
of some supposedly silent Sunday.
Avast!
Are we adrift…
in the vastness of Space…
sailing towards the soulless stars…?
Me hardy boys sift through immeasurable mysteries….
Unspoken screams
And shattered dreams
Soon assailed their startled minds
that day.
That night.
That span of time.
Reality is rarely… never… what it seems….
Ignorance is not only bliss, but also… sublime….
Though no one uttered a prayer…
soon enough…
some would be prey.
As man trods along his ill-defined path towards god
Seeking glory better left unclaimed
Inevitably some simple clod
Must find the means to save himself.
The captain quaffed. The first mate laughed. The glass was drained. A fine wine. No more time stained.

Natural background radiation known. Heats planetary core.
Cosmic radiation generally predictable. Spikes due to plasma and ionized particles during Solar Storms. Deep space background more powerful… and less predictable. Protected by Jupiter’s ionosphere… largest in Solar System.

Sere.
Syncopated rhythm determined the crew’s fate. Cruise.
Randomness. Utter VOID!!!
Ancient mariner’s rhyme.
Vacuum silent.
Sent by some greedy government to meet their maker and bring back proof. Sooth. Goof.
Value-added benefit of business.
Ripping metal sings a swan’s song supreme to some fat goddess. A fatalistic tune….
And then… the hull is sundered….

Absolute silence inevitably ensued….